The Hardest Leadership Decision: When to Coach, and When to Change

One of the most difficult responsibilities in leadership is addressing performance that falls short.

Most leaders don’t enjoy telling someone they are not meeting expectations. In an effort to minimize discomfort, they often default to being overly polite—softening the message in hopes of preserving the relationship.

But being nice is not the same as being kind.

When feedback is unclear or diluted, the outcome is predictable: performance doesn’t improve, and the broader team begins to question whether standards truly matter.

Another common misstep is indirect communication.

Instead of addressing the issue with the individual, leaders send generalized reminders to the entire team—reiterating expectations in a way that avoids direct confrontation.

The result is a decline in morale and trust. High performers feel unfairly targeted, while the underlying issue remains unresolved.

Over the course of my career, I’ve had to make the decision to part ways with individuals due to performance.

Those decisions are never easy, and they are never comfortable. But they are necessary.

And when approached thoughtfully, they are not just about accountability—they are about alignment.

Start with the System

Before making any decision about an individual, I start with the system.

• Are expectations clear?

• Is the process designed to enable success?

• Are others performing well within the same environment?

If multiple people are struggling, the issue is not the individual—it’s the system.

Evaluate Support and Clarity

If the system is sound, the next question is whether the individual has been given a fair opportunity to succeed.

• Is the role clearly defined?

• Have the right tools, training, and support been provided?

• Has feedback been direct, consistent, and actionable?

Without these elements, performance cannot be fairly assessed.

When It Becomes a Fit Decision

If the system is working, expectations are clear, and support has been provided—yet performance does not improve—the issue is no longer about effort.

It is about fit.

And that is where leadership requires clarity and courage.

In many cases, the individual is not only underperforming—they are also struggling.

People generally know when they are not succeeding. It affects their confidence, their engagement, and their overall experience at work.

When leaders avoid addressing the issue directly, they unintentionally prolong that experience.

Making the decision to move someone out of a role—when done with respect, clarity, and fairness—is not a failure of leadership.

It is a responsibility.

To the individual.
To the team.
And to the organization.

Strong organizations don’t avoid performance conversations—they design them to be fair, clear, and decisive.

When handled well, these conversations strengthen the system, reinforce standards, and build trust in leadership.

When avoided or mismanaged, they erode all three.